were you there?

It’s Palm Sunday already.  The choir sang Were you there? It was beautifully sung, not as beautiful as that day in the college chapel when there wasn’t a dry eye in the house, but it was still beautiful today.  I will never forget that other experience twenty years ago now.  Who can believe it is a twenty year old memory….  I’m not much more mature, just older.  Not much wiser, just more experienced.  I think my pilgrimages then were less complex and more rewarding.  I long for rewarding.  I feel inadequate in my journey, in my life.  Yet, I know we are all wanted and loved by God.  He is Love.

Was I there? Yes, I hailed Him as He entered Jerusalem and then I got caught up in the crowd, calling for blood – afraid of what others think.  Then,  I always think my place is at the scourging.  I whip the Lord with my sins.  I hurt Him, rip Him.  I spit at Him when He is crowned.  I am blaming.  Angry.  I can hardly think about what it looked like, sounded like next.  Were you there when they nailed Him to the tree?  Yes, but I can’t look, I look away.  It is here I recognize myself- because I am dying inside listening – knowing what I have done. Yes, I am there.

Forgive me Lord.

Contemplate: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNg-ROsQItE&feature=related

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About sisterbernice

I am a practicing Catholic in love with the Lord. Whatever his failings, I recognize the same in our Pope Emeritus, Benedict XVI. He serves as one of my great teachers. A truly misunderstood figure, I hope all who have reviled him might actually read him and find their way to God.
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